Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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