I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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