He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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