Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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