I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
