Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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