cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
