I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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