Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
