You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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