i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
