I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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