so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
