youre lurking in front of me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
