I think my fart just growled at me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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