matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
