U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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