New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
