We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i drank out of a bidet.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
