The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
