Christians are straight up FREAKS
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
