hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
