i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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