i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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