i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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