I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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