Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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