i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
