Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
