O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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