people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
