And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
