It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
