His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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