sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
