yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
