You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
