Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
