I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
