from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
