Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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