Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
