What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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