yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
