I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
