Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
