Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
