i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
