As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
