I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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