Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
